Intro Music

Sohail: Hello! And welcome! You are listening to Nightly Neanderthal – If you’re tuning in now.. Before the break, Lateefa and I were discussing how the hunting and gathering routes are getting obstructed by rainfall.

Lateefa: Yeah it’s crazy. By the way, I’m loving your new sweater! Is that from the new mammoth fur collection?

Sohail: Yeah, you know what they’ve been saying about this global cooling thing. I guess I better get a headstart.

Lateefa: This ice-age stuff sounds scary man, at least you’ll be chic going through it.

Sohail: Also, about this whole ice-age thing, we’ve got a special guest for you all tonight who says he’s actually discovered a solution. Hear this, he says he can recreate fire. I know what you all may be thinking, I’m thinking it too. We thought of giving him a platform to give him a chance to speak about his invention.

Let’s go to our nightly news correspondent Yero who’s live with OGGOG, the alleged inventor.

Yero: Good morning, listeners. So as I am approaching the scene, and there is a funny smell near the cave. So, we are here on site with our man, Oggog, who claims to have recreated something revolutionary, something that will change the course of humankind. Hi Oggog, and thank you for letting me join you in your cave.

Adam: I am very pleased to meet you. This is a very exciting day for all humans around the Neander Valley.

Yero: Oggog, can you tell us more about what you just discovered? What were you doing?

Adam: So I was hunting for meat, and then I hit two stones and created a spark. I was thinking to myself, what if I started putting these sun sparks over chunks of wood. And then, believe it or not, the fire started.

Yero: Could you try to recreate it for us?

Adam: That’s definitely something that I’m looking into right now. I can show you how it’s done *Begins hitting two rocks together*

Yero: Hmm, okay, you can stop now.. What are your hopes with this fire thing?

Adam: I really want to spread it. I want to bring fires to all caves in the Neanderthal-Valley. No ones gonna do it unless I do it. It’s going to make people happy, and the gods will be pleased.

Sohail (Interrupting): Wait, wait, Yero – If I may – So far Oggog, you’ve made a lot of claims but you haven’t been able to show us anything tangible.

Adam: Here in our Neandert-Valley, I am here breaking my back, busting my ass off to try and advance my species.

Sohail: *Continues arguing*

Lateefa: Hey hey, guys  – Apologies for the behavior of my partner, let’s keep this civil.

Sohail: Shut him off Thank you Bye bye

Sohail: Thank you Yero. Sorry to all our listeners who had to listen to that. So Lateefa, that was something huh?

Lateefa: Yeah, just a shame it had to end like that. I mean, if he’s created what he claims to have, I really think this is the start of something new. I mean, you won’t be wearing your amazing coat.

Sohail: You’re too flattering.

Lateefa: But real talk though, I’ve heard some crazy ideas in the Neanderthal community on mixing fire with food, which has been really difficult to do with current technology.

Sohail: I can’t wait to see what comes out of this,  just imagine – global cooling will be a thing of the past.

* Long Pause *

Well! That’s our time tonight! Join us tomorrow night for more of the same fun.

Outro music